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Irritable

I woke up this morning very irritable. I would say I don't know why, but clearly I have a pretty good idea. I'm trying to really enjoy the next few weeks with my girls (both my children, and my "girls") and keep life as normal as possible. But as I lay on the couch with Reagan on one side, and Charlotte on the other, watching Saturday morning cartoons..I can't help but tear up knowing that in a few weeks, they won't be able to lay on me for a very long time. Okay, okay... 4-6 weeks isn't a VERY long time... but it is when your babies are young and you know how fast they grow up. I am desperately going to miss Charlie girl sitting on my lap, sticking her face in mine and saying "Hi Mommy!" about 80 times every 10 minutes. I'm going to miss my Reagy snuggling up and letting me play with her hair while we chat and watch tv.

Knowing life is about to change makes it hard for me to be completely normal right now. But I'm trying.

The other reason I'm pretty peeved today is that we don't have a surgery date set yet. I know Dr. Metkus and Dr. Griffin need to coordinate schedules, and that can take time... but I have a tumor in me that I NEED out NOW. The longer it's in there (now that I'm aware of it), the more it skeeves me out. I have panic attacks that it's growing super fast and will take over my body soon.  I know that's not how it works and if the Doctors are okay pushing this out a few weeks it isn't going to change the outcome. But still... I need to know the date the "girls" are going to the guillotine.

Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 8, 2011 at 11:26 PM

    Hi Melissa,

    I just wanted to let you know I'm rooting for you. I will be tracking your progress thru your blog. We haven't met yet (I'm a friend of Holly's) but you and your family are in my thoughts in prayers.

    Christine

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sanchez FamilyJanuary 9, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Love your blog, Melissa! I'm checking it everyday!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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