I was shocked today when I woke up. I was 100% sure I would NOT sleep last night. But not only did I sleep, I probably slept better than I have in weeks.
I started thinking of how I should send the "girls" off. It would be my last 24 hours with them, after all. Flashing people in New Orleans for Mardi Gras was out, and the only other thing I could think of was to sunbathe topless. But alas, I live in San Bruno. So the only rational solution was to go shopping.... again. The girls were at school and daycare today so as not to totally disrupt their lives. And Matt worked last night so he needed to sleep. I had the morning to myself and had a surprisingly nice and very relaxing time.
At 2, I woke Matt up and we had to go down to my home away from home - the hospital. Today's appointment was in Nuclear Medicine. That just sounds daunting, doesn't it? After waiting a while, I was finally shown to a room that had a huge contraption in it. It resembled an MRI machine, but wasn't as enclosed. The Dr. finally came in and said that I had to have the injection in BOTH breasts. Come again!?! I gently advised him that he was wrong... the tumor is only in one breast, and Dr. Metkus said they were only taking the lymph nodes from that armpit. He checked his notes, and said "I'm sorry. She wants to check both sides." Grrrr.... All week I had prepared myself for one shot. One. Turns out I got FOUR. Granted, I only felt the first two since they were the numbing agent. And I'm most definitely glad they worked!! The dr. was saying that the radioactive dye they inject tends to burn.
I was laying on the bed part of this huge contraption as the shots were administered. After the dye was in, the nurse moved the bed back into the body of the machine. Then they took XRay pictures to make sure the dye was headed in the right direction, which thankfully, it was.
The rest of the day was spent with the girls and my parents. We had a really great time at dinner, followed by swim lessons and ice cream. For a few moments there, I could actually pretend my life is still normal.
But then we had to drop the girls off at Nana and Papa's. While they are beside themselves with excitement to be having several sleep overs, it made the reality really set in. I already miss my girls. I hate that I won't see them for several days, and then not be able to hold them and cuddle them for several weeks still.
I sit here with a pit in my stomach and tears that won't stop. I'm terrified. I just want this to end.
I started thinking of how I should send the "girls" off. It would be my last 24 hours with them, after all. Flashing people in New Orleans for Mardi Gras was out, and the only other thing I could think of was to sunbathe topless. But alas, I live in San Bruno. So the only rational solution was to go shopping.... again. The girls were at school and daycare today so as not to totally disrupt their lives. And Matt worked last night so he needed to sleep. I had the morning to myself and had a surprisingly nice and very relaxing time.
At 2, I woke Matt up and we had to go down to my home away from home - the hospital. Today's appointment was in Nuclear Medicine. That just sounds daunting, doesn't it? After waiting a while, I was finally shown to a room that had a huge contraption in it. It resembled an MRI machine, but wasn't as enclosed. The Dr. finally came in and said that I had to have the injection in BOTH breasts. Come again!?! I gently advised him that he was wrong... the tumor is only in one breast, and Dr. Metkus said they were only taking the lymph nodes from that armpit. He checked his notes, and said "I'm sorry. She wants to check both sides." Grrrr.... All week I had prepared myself for one shot. One. Turns out I got FOUR. Granted, I only felt the first two since they were the numbing agent. And I'm most definitely glad they worked!! The dr. was saying that the radioactive dye they inject tends to burn.
I was laying on the bed part of this huge contraption as the shots were administered. After the dye was in, the nurse moved the bed back into the body of the machine. Then they took XRay pictures to make sure the dye was headed in the right direction, which thankfully, it was.
The rest of the day was spent with the girls and my parents. We had a really great time at dinner, followed by swim lessons and ice cream. For a few moments there, I could actually pretend my life is still normal.
But then we had to drop the girls off at Nana and Papa's. While they are beside themselves with excitement to be having several sleep overs, it made the reality really set in. I already miss my girls. I hate that I won't see them for several days, and then not be able to hold them and cuddle them for several weeks still.
I sit here with a pit in my stomach and tears that won't stop. I'm terrified. I just want this to end.
We send our love and support to you and the entire family!! You are beating this, take one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteLove, Tim and the girls.
Hey...you're a tough cookie and its hard for tough cookies to crumble...stay strong and focused as I know you can.....and just think while recooperating you can work on that world famous award winning Novel you promised me years ago....I know it will be on the best sellers list cuz it's written by one of the best gal's I know.....Yo momma os praying for you
ReplyDeleteI promise you "someday" this will all be a memory. Everything will be back to normal and life will go on and on and on. It's just getting to that point in time. Stay strong, keep your resolve and fight the fight! Love Mama
ReplyDelete