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D Day

We have a date. January 21, 2011 - Dooblay Day. I think I may vomit.

Okay, so several hours have passed since I got the official word. At first they said Feb 9th, which seemed so far away. Then the call came in that it was moved up to Jan. 21st, and now that seems so soon. I guess the reality is that regardless of the date...having a date makes this whole thing a reality.  I spent the afternoon at work feeling sick to my stomach. This isn't just a bad dream. It's not going away. In 10 days, I will be having major surgery and two lovely body parts removed.

I left work a bit early to get some extra cuddle time in with my girls. After a heated tickle war with them, a fantastic shrimp and pasta dinner courtesy of Matt, and two glasses of homemade Portuguese wine (which, by the way, is outstanding) my nerves are much calmer.

I held back the tears all day at work, and then on the drive home they started to break through. I realized that I've always really liked my body just the way it is. I know it's far from perfect. I was never a candidate for any Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues. But I was me. I never felt I was too big (clearly), or too small chested. I was just right. And then Righty had to go rogue on me and change everything. Poor Lefty did nothing wrong... yet. And I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for this to pop up again. So I have no choice... I have to come to terms with a new me. Still, hopefully, a beautiful me.

Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 11, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    Always a beautiful you. Now you and Roman will have a day to share forever.

    ReplyDelete

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