My "Mamm"wars: Fighting to Survive Stage 4 Breast Cancer

What a shit show the past few days have been. Everything was going great, I was feeling great, and then BAM! Tuesday after school I felt a bit run down but nothing too bad. I decided to stay home Wednesday just to play it safe. Well that's when shit spiraled out of control. My temp kept going up, I couldn't stay awake, I was essentially a giant mess. I found myself in the ER on Thursday after my temp spiked to 102.4. Within a few hours, it was confirmed I had the flu. The doctors admitted me to the ICU because my blood pressure and heart rate weren't stabilizing. To make matters worse, I had already infected Matt with my flu and he was in no shape to come be with me. It was a pretty scary time, but the nurses all made me feel very comfortable and well taken care of. They immediately started me on Tamiflu and antibiotics. They took bloodwork every three hours due to a fear of sepsis, and loaded me up with 2 liters of fluid. The next day I was moved out of ICU into a regular

I write often about how much I love my job. Besides marriage and motherhood, it is the most rewarding part of my life. Last Saturday was the annual dinner dance and auction where the 8th graders put on a little show for their parents. This year, the moms in charge tailored the 8th graders activity portion to suit them. That means less dancing on their part and more heartfelt tributes. They did a great job... as I knew they would. They wrote a very sweet thank you note to everyone who helped them along the way. When it came to the part where they thanked me, the DJ started playing "Fight Song," and I was called up to the stage. I knew they had something planned, but I didn't expect anything more than some kind words. I certainly didn't expect to be called up to the stage. They proceeded to gift me with a few of my favorite things: Diet Pepsi, Peet's coffee, Sour Patch Kids, and pink roses. I was too shocked to listen to everything that was said, but it was evident

I think my cancer has made me more witty. I've been noticing over the past few months that my one liners are quicker, my ability to make puns has increased, and I am all around a more funny person than I was before. Although, "funny" is subjective, so not everyone may agree with this observation. Matt has always been the absolute most funny person I've ever known, so keeping up with him is difficult. If I can make him laugh, I know I've succeeded. I don't know what to attribute this change in my humor too...maybe it's simply that I just don't care anymore. I feel like having cancer gives me a pass in a lot of areas. I can get away with more.... So why not use it to my advantage. This past week both Matt and I have been able to use our wit with telemarketers. He told me his story yesterday by starting out with "You may or may not find this funny, but...." Umm, when you start out like that, I immediately become nervous. Then he tells me how a