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Yes, No, Maybe So... and Absolutely Not

Today's trip to the Cancer Center for genetic testing reminded me exactly why I failed Biology class in High School. I cannot, for the life of me, understand science. Yet in the situation I'm facing, I am completely amazed and astounded by what scientists can do these days. And I am beyond grateful for all of the work they have done over the years in Cancer research.

The way they conduct the test itself is just mind blowing. I had to swish Scope (Yes, the mouthwash) around in my mouth for 30 seconds and spit it into a cylinder. Twice. Then I had to run my tongue along my gums and cheeks for 10 seconds and spit into the cylinder twice. With that, they will be able to tell if I test positive for the BRCA I or BRCA II gene mutation. And with that, I walked out with some mighty minty breath.

But, because science isn't just cut and dried like I wish it was (because then I may have been able to pass that damn class), the results come back either "positive" - meaning I have an increased cancer risk based on having the gene mutation passed onto me, "negative" - meaning there is no increased Cancer risk, "negative" - meaning the chance of hereditary breast cancer is significantly reduced for myself, but another member of my family will probably test positive, or "Uncertain Variant" - meaning the Cancer risk is not fully defined. As the nurse explained to me, this is the least satisfying answer (obviously) and it means that a mutation was found, but the scientists have not certainly identified it as a mutation that may cause Cancer.

At this point I was thinking, "Okay, I'm definitely going to test positive because so many people in my family have had cancer." Yeah.. that is so not the case. The very patient nurse (is that an oxymoron?) explained to me that each parent passes on one gene to their child. Even if my mom, or my dad, are BRCA positive, they could have each passed the negative gene on to me.

When all is said and done, my mom and my Aunt Maria are my only "first line" blood relatives that were diagnosed with Breast Cancer prior to age 50. This puts me at 21.2% chance that I will test positive.

I also learned today that my tumor tested positive for the estrogen receptor. What this means is my particular cancer grows and thrives on the presence of estrogen. And clearly I've got a lot of that going on! The Doctors see this news as a positive thing because it can be dealt with better than cancers that are estrogen receptor negative. The way to combat this is with a drug called Tamoxifen. I'll start the Tamoxifen after I recover from chemo.. and continue to take it every day for five years.

Taking tamoxifen for five years means Matt and I will not be having any more kids - as I was advised by the nurse today that getting pregnant on this drug is absolutely not okay. Not that we were hell bent on having more...and we always said "if it's meant to be, it'll be." But now we have a clear answer that it apparently isn't meant to be. It's a good thing we hit the jackpot with the two we already have!

It's pretty tough to hear that you are NOT allowed to do something, even if you really weren't planning on it anyway. It's one of those things that just kind of suck. Choices are being made for me, and whether I like them or not, I have to live with them.

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