When I signed on for parenthood, I knew there were going to be some dicey conversations with my kids eventually. I wasn't expecting them to come so soon. Nor was I expecting to ever have to tell my 4 year old that I have cancer. Matt and I were waiting for the right time to tell Reagan, and when I was feeling strong enough to do it without crying. Reagan is the kind of kid who does well with anything if she is expecting it. She doesn't like things sprung on her - especially bad things. So we knew we had to tell her this weekend.
At Target this morning I found a book about a little girl whose Mommy has cancer. The book is fantastic actually with just the right amount of detail for a pre-school age kid. So Matt and I sat her down before lunch and told her that my boobie was sick (she was very inquisitive the day of the biopsy so this wasn't "new" news to her). We told her the doctors are going to make me all better, but that I have to go to the hospital for a few days next week. She was very excited to hear she will be having numerous sleepovers with her Nana & Papa, and her aunts and uncles. She also was ecstatic to hear that Nana will be taking her to a birthday party next weekend.
Then we read the book. Which mentions how Mommy will have to take medicine to make her better, even though the medicine will make her feel sick. The book also mentions how Mommy will lose her hair. Once I finished the book, Matt asked her if she understood. She said "Yes." Then he asked her if she has any questions. She yells out "There's a BLUEBIRD in the backyard!!" Umm... okay. I guess that's a "no?!" We all looked and said "Yes, there's a bluebird..." (I have no idea where he was). And asked her again "do you have any questions about mommy being sick?" She says "umm.. my belly just grumbled. Is it time for lunch?"
I think it went better than anticipated....
At Target this morning I found a book about a little girl whose Mommy has cancer. The book is fantastic actually with just the right amount of detail for a pre-school age kid. So Matt and I sat her down before lunch and told her that my boobie was sick (she was very inquisitive the day of the biopsy so this wasn't "new" news to her). We told her the doctors are going to make me all better, but that I have to go to the hospital for a few days next week. She was very excited to hear she will be having numerous sleepovers with her Nana & Papa, and her aunts and uncles. She also was ecstatic to hear that Nana will be taking her to a birthday party next weekend.
Then we read the book. Which mentions how Mommy will have to take medicine to make her better, even though the medicine will make her feel sick. The book also mentions how Mommy will lose her hair. Once I finished the book, Matt asked her if she understood. She said "Yes." Then he asked her if she has any questions. She yells out "There's a BLUEBIRD in the backyard!!" Umm... okay. I guess that's a "no?!" We all looked and said "Yes, there's a bluebird..." (I have no idea where he was). And asked her again "do you have any questions about mommy being sick?" She says "umm.. my belly just grumbled. Is it time for lunch?"
I think it went better than anticipated....
Now you know, always plan these discussion shortly before lunch!
ReplyDeleteReagan is such a cutie. I hope it gives you consolation to know that I had no memory of my mom being sick when I was very young (not even with a cold!). I was 15 when I first understood everything that had happened, well after my mom was in remission and I have to say it had to be because of all the love and support from family and friends. Since you are such a strong person... and You, Matt and the girls have so much support around you, I am sure that Reagan and Charlotte will also remember the best moments about these days... and can look forward to all the days where they can run and play with Mommy when she gets all better!
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