I went to bed last night finally feeling a bit of relief. I had my little bottle of happy pills on the counter ready to be popped this morning, and I felt lighter and more hopeful than I had in days.
Matt woke me up when he got home from work around 3 am, and that's when I first felt the stiffness in my hips. It was more of a dull ache, the same pain I felt the day after the Neulasta shot. Except it kept getting more intense. By 7 am when I got up to get Reagan ready for school it was in full force. I could barely walk or bend down without massive pain. After Reagan left for school it continued to get worse - now shooting up my spine. I started having a panic attack and couldn't stop crying (yet again).
Matt called the doctors at 9 when they opened and they confirmed that it was the side effects of the Neulasta. MAN, I thought I escaped the bad side effects from that shot. Seriously.. they gave it to me a week ago. WHY was this happening now?! Turns out it's totally normal for this to happen 5-7 days post shot. Lucky me. And it lasts for 2-3 days. Sweet..nothing like searing spine and hip pain for 2-3 days. Luckily the doctor said I can take vicodin for the pain (since the ibuprofen I took did absolutely nothing to dent it) and he handed over another script for that at my appointment this afternoon. I'm not good at math as it is, but seriously, I've totally lost count of how many prescriptions I've got right now!
On a positive note though, we met with Dr. Adler today to have my first official "how did the chemo go" appointment. We went over every side effect, every pain, every bit of nausea I experienced over the past 8 days. And, I'm happy to report that I am totally normal and this is just how I react to the AC. He said that he's seen worse and that if I can't handle this regimen we can go to a 3 week cycle. But that's really not an option for me... Why would I prolong the agony?! Let's just bust it out and be done with it already. He reminded me that this is an investment in my future. And when you put it that way, it reminds me that this is just a few short weeks of my LONG life. This truly sucks. But it's going to be so worth it in the long run.
For now, I'm taking it one day at a time..one treatment at a time. After my infusion next Monday, I will be half way through the Red Devil. Half way already! Like Dory says in "Finding Nemo," I've gotta just keep swimming....
Matt woke me up when he got home from work around 3 am, and that's when I first felt the stiffness in my hips. It was more of a dull ache, the same pain I felt the day after the Neulasta shot. Except it kept getting more intense. By 7 am when I got up to get Reagan ready for school it was in full force. I could barely walk or bend down without massive pain. After Reagan left for school it continued to get worse - now shooting up my spine. I started having a panic attack and couldn't stop crying (yet again).
Matt called the doctors at 9 when they opened and they confirmed that it was the side effects of the Neulasta. MAN, I thought I escaped the bad side effects from that shot. Seriously.. they gave it to me a week ago. WHY was this happening now?! Turns out it's totally normal for this to happen 5-7 days post shot. Lucky me. And it lasts for 2-3 days. Sweet..nothing like searing spine and hip pain for 2-3 days. Luckily the doctor said I can take vicodin for the pain (since the ibuprofen I took did absolutely nothing to dent it) and he handed over another script for that at my appointment this afternoon. I'm not good at math as it is, but seriously, I've totally lost count of how many prescriptions I've got right now!
On a positive note though, we met with Dr. Adler today to have my first official "how did the chemo go" appointment. We went over every side effect, every pain, every bit of nausea I experienced over the past 8 days. And, I'm happy to report that I am totally normal and this is just how I react to the AC. He said that he's seen worse and that if I can't handle this regimen we can go to a 3 week cycle. But that's really not an option for me... Why would I prolong the agony?! Let's just bust it out and be done with it already. He reminded me that this is an investment in my future. And when you put it that way, it reminds me that this is just a few short weeks of my LONG life. This truly sucks. But it's going to be so worth it in the long run.
For now, I'm taking it one day at a time..one treatment at a time. After my infusion next Monday, I will be half way through the Red Devil. Half way already! Like Dory says in "Finding Nemo," I've gotta just keep swimming....
What a gutsy woman you are! I am so very impressed by you. As sick as you are, and I can feel every agonizing moment by your blog (But then thankfully (only while reading your blog). As sick as you are, to continue with the chemo regimen instead of maybe lowing the dosage because "why prolong the agony?" AWESOME!!! I thought your Mom was amazing when she told me about all the illness she has had to endure. It's easy to see where your courage comes from! You are
ReplyDeleteAWESOME!
Diane said it all - YOU ARE AWSOME! Others would crumble under the pain - not you! I am so very proud of you. Get it over and done with. Life goes on for a very long time - suffer now so you can enjoy the future with your beautiful family. You can't imagine how much you are loved by everyone! Love Mama
ReplyDeleteYou have this in the bag. Cancer is a jackass and you will crush it. I love you. Thinking of you every day.
ReplyDeleteI have been keeping you in my thoughts. Been reading your blog. If you ever want to talk please call. I am so glad you have this first one under your belt. Nuelasta is a bitch! They gave it to me in my arm the first time. Ear drums ruptured and I could move my head. I looked like I should have been in a zoo. Lot of love your way. June will be here and then June 2012 will be here... and on and on and on ~Amy, Lisa's sister
ReplyDelete