The past two weeks have pretty much been status quo around here. Hospice comes Monday and takes blood, and does a general once over. They replace prescriptions and take care of everything we need. Then on Weds, I go to Dr. Adler's office for the results of the blood and see if I qualify for chemo for the week. Dr. Adler says it's only a few more times he'll let me go back and forth between chemo and hospice. It's like a ticking bomb, where I only have a few more tries before I have to fully commit one way or another.
In the meantime, we're trying to continue creating memories and having fun. We get out once a day whether it's to a movie, a walk on the trail or a trip to Target. It feels so good to get dressed, put a little make up on and head out. Like I still do have things to do before I leave.
Sometimes, like this past week, it's almost hard to come to terms with fact that I'm dying. I feel so good most days. So instead of laying around feeling sorry for myself, we try and do things that make it seem not so real. I have a goal now, before everything was my goal.... just living. But I'm trying to mix the reality with the fantasy of my situation. My goal is 2019. I want ONE more holiday season. Dr. Adler said it's not impossible (he indicated unlikely) but "not impossible" means POSSIBLE. We can do these holidays up so right and so fun and memorable.......THAT is my goal.
Please pray I get to my goal to give the girls one last incredible holiday season. Also, please pray chemo goes easy on me if I end up doing it this week!!!!!!
In the meantime, we're trying to continue creating memories and having fun. We get out once a day whether it's to a movie, a walk on the trail or a trip to Target. It feels so good to get dressed, put a little make up on and head out. Like I still do have things to do before I leave.
Sometimes, like this past week, it's almost hard to come to terms with fact that I'm dying. I feel so good most days. So instead of laying around feeling sorry for myself, we try and do things that make it seem not so real. I have a goal now, before everything was my goal.... just living. But I'm trying to mix the reality with the fantasy of my situation. My goal is 2019. I want ONE more holiday season. Dr. Adler said it's not impossible (he indicated unlikely) but "not impossible" means POSSIBLE. We can do these holidays up so right and so fun and memorable.......THAT is my goal.
Please pray I get to my goal to give the girls one last incredible holiday season. Also, please pray chemo goes easy on me if I end up doing it this week!!!!!!
Okay, let's make the remainder of this year the best. It will be Christmas every day. Let's decorate, sing our special song, drink (water for you) and make merry! If this is all we have, let's do it up big!!!
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