Today was the big day - we met with Dr. Adler and got my chemo regimen. I'm still wrapping my head around it all, yet it's the exact regimen I predicted based on my independent research (commonly known as "Google").
As suspected, due to my age and my tumor markings, we are taking an aggressive approach with treatment. I start with a mixture of Adriamycin and Cytoxan (or AC).They commonly call this cocktail the "Red Devil" - which is funny because if I was at Happy Hour with my girlfriends, I'd totally order a drink called the Red Devil. And interestingly enough, it seems that both of these cocktails render the recipient with the same side effects - nausea and feeling extremely ill.
I will do this every 2 weeks for 4 rounds. The frequency of treatment is called "dose dense" - meaning they administer it in closer intervals so the cancer doesn't have time to build up immunity to it. I will have to take another drug, Neulasta, to help keep my white blood count high enough to keep up with this regimen.
After the 4 rounds of AC, they will switch me over to Taxol. Again at a 2 week interval for 4 more rounds. Taxol, from what I've been told, is much easier on the body.
So I'm looking at a total of 16 weeks of chemo, 8 rounds of drugs, a 95% chance my hair will fall out, and a 95% chance I will be alive in 10 years. Dr. Adler showed us several different statistics based on my age and my cancer markings. I'm not a math person (my math skills are the only thing worse than my scientific knowledge), but I know that when my medical oncologist says if I follow his advice and do the chemo and take the Tamoxifen for 5 years, I GREATLY increase my odds for living... I listen
He broke it down as follows:
If I call it a day and do NO more treatment - I have an 82% chance of being alive in 10 years, and a 62% chance of the cancer never coming back.
If I do the chemo as suggested, radiation, and Tamoxifen - I have a 95% chance of being alive in 10 years, and an 88% chance of the cancer not recurring.
The long run benefits definitely outweigh the short term inconvenience.
I have an appointment on 2/28 with the nurse practitioner to go over more details and get an official start date (most likely the week of 3/7). At that appointment they will determine if I should have a port put in or not. Dr. Adler seemed to think the veins in my left arm may be okay for the 8 pricks we'll need. But he wasn't totally convinced. I have mixed feelings on the port, but like everything else, it's pretty much out of my hands at this point.
I'm not going to lie. I cried today after this appointment. More than I care to admit. It's so real. It's so scary. The alternative is even scarier though. I will do whatever it takes to never go through this again. Ever.
But after a good cry, I put everything back in perspective. I can do this - it's 16 weeks. That's not really that long in the scheme of life. And I'm not going to be sick every single day. Although honestly, I'm a little freaked out about how I'm going to look bald. It's not going to be pretty. So I decided I needed a pick me up... and what does a soon to be bald girl need more than anything? Scarves and hats! I picked out a few (even a turquoise one -which is very bold for me!) And I did get an RX from Dr. Adler for a "scalp prosthesis" and am going shopping for that next week!
As suspected, due to my age and my tumor markings, we are taking an aggressive approach with treatment. I start with a mixture of Adriamycin and Cytoxan (or AC).They commonly call this cocktail the "Red Devil" - which is funny because if I was at Happy Hour with my girlfriends, I'd totally order a drink called the Red Devil. And interestingly enough, it seems that both of these cocktails render the recipient with the same side effects - nausea and feeling extremely ill.
I will do this every 2 weeks for 4 rounds. The frequency of treatment is called "dose dense" - meaning they administer it in closer intervals so the cancer doesn't have time to build up immunity to it. I will have to take another drug, Neulasta, to help keep my white blood count high enough to keep up with this regimen.
After the 4 rounds of AC, they will switch me over to Taxol. Again at a 2 week interval for 4 more rounds. Taxol, from what I've been told, is much easier on the body.
So I'm looking at a total of 16 weeks of chemo, 8 rounds of drugs, a 95% chance my hair will fall out, and a 95% chance I will be alive in 10 years. Dr. Adler showed us several different statistics based on my age and my cancer markings. I'm not a math person (my math skills are the only thing worse than my scientific knowledge), but I know that when my medical oncologist says if I follow his advice and do the chemo and take the Tamoxifen for 5 years, I GREATLY increase my odds for living... I listen
He broke it down as follows:
If I call it a day and do NO more treatment - I have an 82% chance of being alive in 10 years, and a 62% chance of the cancer never coming back.
If I do the chemo as suggested, radiation, and Tamoxifen - I have a 95% chance of being alive in 10 years, and an 88% chance of the cancer not recurring.
The long run benefits definitely outweigh the short term inconvenience.
I have an appointment on 2/28 with the nurse practitioner to go over more details and get an official start date (most likely the week of 3/7). At that appointment they will determine if I should have a port put in or not. Dr. Adler seemed to think the veins in my left arm may be okay for the 8 pricks we'll need. But he wasn't totally convinced. I have mixed feelings on the port, but like everything else, it's pretty much out of my hands at this point.
I'm not going to lie. I cried today after this appointment. More than I care to admit. It's so real. It's so scary. The alternative is even scarier though. I will do whatever it takes to never go through this again. Ever.
But after a good cry, I put everything back in perspective. I can do this - it's 16 weeks. That's not really that long in the scheme of life. And I'm not going to be sick every single day. Although honestly, I'm a little freaked out about how I'm going to look bald. It's not going to be pretty. So I decided I needed a pick me up... and what does a soon to be bald girl need more than anything? Scarves and hats! I picked out a few (even a turquoise one -which is very bold for me!) And I did get an RX from Dr. Adler for a "scalp prosthesis" and am going shopping for that next week!
Cry all you want, just don't let it consume you. Get it out and then get on with LIFE! 16 weeks is nothing. You can do it and I know you will because you have the girls and Matthew. You might even like the bald look and you do love hats. I know it's scary, but you are strong and capable of dealing with anything life sends your way. I love you. Mama
ReplyDeleteCOmpare it to a pregnancy. Once the 16 weeks is over, you have the most incredible life to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa
ReplyDeleteI have been following your blog and I just want to wish you the best with the chemo treatment. I really like your writing and eventually, you may want to consider writing a book about your journey with cancer. You seem to be a very strong person and I am glad you have a supportive family and 2 beautiful children.
KJ