231. That's the number of days that have passed since the fateful day I learned I had breast cancer.
It seems like an eternity, and yet it seems like just yesterday. The events of that day are still so vivid. I remember answering my phone as Matt and I drove home from lunch with our friends. Even more so, I remember waltzing into my second mammogram just two days prior without a care in the world. And I remember calling Matt sobbing an hour later, incoherently telling him the doctor thinks I have cancer and that I was having an immediate biopsy.
From the moment we found out, we put our nose to the grindstone and pounded this out. We met with doctors, followed the proposed protocol to a "T", suffered intense pain and sadness, and persevered. And here we are. Done. We were completely blindsided by this, and here we are- 231 days later, victorious! I keep saying "we," because even though the cancer was in my body, my entire family was affected. Without my family, I wouldn't have been able to maintain the strength and determination to fight.
In the beginning, it seemed so tragic that a 36 year old mom of two small kids would get cancer. Yet today, it seems like having little kids is what kept my head on straight and made me remain optimistic this whole time. I couldn't let them see me sad and crying. I couldn't be a hypocrite and teach them to never give up, yet give up myself. So even when I was miserable and at my lowest of lows, my family - my girls - kept me going.
Today I was on such a high at radiation. My radiation dudes told me how proud of me they were, and how well I handled the radiation. They even gave me hugs as I left. While they are so nice, I pray I never have to see them again!!
On my way out I made an appointment to see Dr. Weller again in September. It seems sort of anti climatic, yet the truth is that I guess it's never really over. I'll have follow ups for the rest of my life. But for me, it's over. I have all the faith in the world that we did everything we could. I know I gave everything in me the past 8 months to beat this - literally and figuratively! I know that I *could* do it again if I had too...but I also know that I never *want* to have to do it again!
What I am going to do now is enjoy my little girls, my husband, and my LIFE.
It seems like an eternity, and yet it seems like just yesterday. The events of that day are still so vivid. I remember answering my phone as Matt and I drove home from lunch with our friends. Even more so, I remember waltzing into my second mammogram just two days prior without a care in the world. And I remember calling Matt sobbing an hour later, incoherently telling him the doctor thinks I have cancer and that I was having an immediate biopsy.
From the moment we found out, we put our nose to the grindstone and pounded this out. We met with doctors, followed the proposed protocol to a "T", suffered intense pain and sadness, and persevered. And here we are. Done. We were completely blindsided by this, and here we are- 231 days later, victorious! I keep saying "we," because even though the cancer was in my body, my entire family was affected. Without my family, I wouldn't have been able to maintain the strength and determination to fight.
In the beginning, it seemed so tragic that a 36 year old mom of two small kids would get cancer. Yet today, it seems like having little kids is what kept my head on straight and made me remain optimistic this whole time. I couldn't let them see me sad and crying. I couldn't be a hypocrite and teach them to never give up, yet give up myself. So even when I was miserable and at my lowest of lows, my family - my girls - kept me going.
Today I was on such a high at radiation. My radiation dudes told me how proud of me they were, and how well I handled the radiation. They even gave me hugs as I left. While they are so nice, I pray I never have to see them again!!
On my way out I made an appointment to see Dr. Weller again in September. It seems sort of anti climatic, yet the truth is that I guess it's never really over. I'll have follow ups for the rest of my life. But for me, it's over. I have all the faith in the world that we did everything we could. I know I gave everything in me the past 8 months to beat this - literally and figuratively! I know that I *could* do it again if I had too...but I also know that I never *want* to have to do it again!
What I am going to do now is enjoy my little girls, my husband, and my LIFE.
As always so very, very proud of you. Never give in to cancer and never, never, never, ever give up. Keep up the fight which now means keep up with your regular checkups, getting fit and eating healthy, etc. but enjoy life and don't think about the checkups until you have to. Love Mama
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS!!! You did it!! I'm so excited for you to have moved to the "other side" and are now the SURVIVOR!!!
ReplyDeleteYour strength through this whole thing has been inspirational. This last year has been a tough one for our family as well, no real medical problems just tough and you have been my inspiration. I kept thinking to myself, "if Melissa can kick breast cancer, I too can do this!!" So thank you for your blog and your strength!!
Jackie
Melissa, beacon of strength, purveyor of joy: YOU DID IT! I am so thankful--to God, to your family--that you have overcome! YOU HAVE OVERCOME!
ReplyDeleteMuch love.