Ahhhh.....

And just like that I let out a giant sigh of relief. I also feel a little silly for the panic attacks I was having over the past week. My appointment with Dr. Adler went really well. He listened to me rattle on about my panic attacks and how I don't "really" have any aches/pains/bumps/bruises that need mentioning, except when my chest hurts because I hyperventilate about my upcoming appointments with him. He very kindly patted my knee and told me that ALL of his patients are like this. He also is compassionate enough to realize that while he is a "cancer doctor," he personally has never had cancer, so he can't simply say "don't think like that" or anything. He has NO CLUE what goes through our minds...well, that's not true. Seeing as how his patients all tell him these silly thoughts, he knows very well what we are thinking. But the point is, he's extremely compassionate about it. He doesn't dismiss the feelings of panic and fear, or make me feel silly for being scared after the most traumatic event of my life. He listens. He lets me know it's NORMAL. And then he goes on to say that I am doing GREAT and that there is NO WAY the cancer can be back when I'm feeling as well as I am.

We even joked about how I've "graduated" once again. I don't have to go back for 6 months. This is the longest I'll go without seeing Dr. Adler since January 2011. I still think it's ironic that he's my favorite doctor I wish I never had...I'm going to sort of miss him over the next 6 months.