My "Mamm"wars: Fighting to Survive Stage 4 Breast Cancer

Shit seems to be going south quickly for me. After two rounds of iBrance, we have to now re-evaluate the treatment and possibly change it up. The first round ended with me in the hospital with the flu. This second round didn't end as dramatically, but I have been having major leg, scalp and scapula pains lately. My latest round of bloodwork was far from good. The alkaline phosphotase (indicator of bone turnover), and liver enzymes were both significantly raised. This could be simply a side effect of the iBrance, or it could be that the tumors are growing. The pains could be side effects, or they could be that the tumors are growing. Everything *could be* one or the other. The only thing that is certain is that I am being driven mad here waiting. I had more bloodwork done today, and scans are set for Thursday. I'll be having a CT scan and another bone scan since I haven't had one of those babies for almost a year now. Results will be in on Friday. I feel certain the bone s...

There aren't adequate words to describe the last three days of our trip. We drove from Sedona to Williams on Weds, stopping at this ridiculous place called Bearizona on the way. Anyone who knows me knows my incredible, irrational, insane fear of bears. So WHY would I agree to go to a "zoo" where you can drive through animal habitats and they are just walking around carefree by your car? Well, because I love my kids I guess. And I figured if we all die together at least we'll always be together. Kidding...kind of... But seriously, this place was crazy. We had lunch and walked through the caged animal part first, and of course went to the nasty old petting zoo portion. I get scared and my knees start knocking when a turkey comes within 10 feet of me, which always amuses Matt and the girls. Then we braved the driving portion. It was all fun and games at first...the deer and elk were fine and not scary. Followed by the rams and goats. Then the signs start appearing to rol...

Wow... I have been meaning to write so many times over the past month, but life keeps getting in the way. Or being too tired. I finally recovered from the flu, and life went back to normal...somewhat. But all the stuff I had meant to write about doesn't seem important now. All that is important now is this week. This time with the family. This trip. With so much excitement, we spent last week packing and preparing for our Grand Canyon experience that the Fairy Foundation was beyond generous to gift us with. Then Easter came, and the emotions hit me like a train. Every holiday is difficult these days as I always think "is this the last XXX day I will have." So those normal emotions hit on Easter along with "Wow..we're going on a great vacation because I am dying." Thinking about it that way kind of sucks and takes the fun out of it. But then 4 am Monday came, and as we piled into our Uber to the airport I began to get excited again. Monday was tough physi...