My "Mamm"wars: Fighting to Survive Stage 4 Breast Cancer

Time is just flying by these days... I guess that's partly because I am feeling so much better now that the chemo haze is lifting. I just finished week 2 of my first month of iBrance. I am excited to report that there have been relatively no side effects. My energy is coming back, although I am still pretty beat by the end of the day at work. I am not sleeping all weekend, and have had a few really good, really busy weekends lately. I had my second round of Faslodex shots last Friday. It hurt a LOT more this past time. I think it's because the nurse pushed it faster than the first time. My poor sweet little ass is bruised and sore. The biggest side effect from the Faslodex is fatigue, which, compared to the chemo side effects, is totally livable. I CAN do this!!! We just have to hope this treatment works for a LONG time. In amazing news.... I was accepted to go to Lourdes in May with the Order of Malta. The Order of Malta and the Knights of Columbus take 50 people every yea...

Looks like things are all starting to come together. I had my Zometa infusion along with my first two Faslodex shots on Friday. The shot is the biggest needle I have ever seen, except for the epidural needle. Interestingly enough though, it didn't hurt at all. It was just the tiniest little pinch in each butt cheek. Friday afternoon I got a call from the specialty prescription drug company. The iBrance has been approved and I will get my first shipment on Tuesday! The lady explained that every month I will get a phone call about 8-10 days before my drugs are shipped. They need to have a verbal confirmation from me that I am expecting the delivery. It's shipped via FedEx and I will have to be home to sign for it. It seems SO big time. Then, she says "After insurance the co pay is $2,000 a month," at which point my knees literally buckled and I had to catch myself from falling. She continued "so I already submitted you for financial aid from Pfizer and it has...

Well, it's official. Chemo and I are on a break. I know the news is good and I should be excited, and I'm getting there...but this news is met with mixed emotions. What if the new meds don't work? What if the tumors grow? What if, what if, what if..... We met with Dr. Adler yesterday and he didn't have any new news regarding my scan. In fact, he said the decrease in the liver tumor was so slight that it pretty much "remained stable." I know that stable is good in my case, but I feel like he took what little hope I had away. That, and when I asked some questions about the iBrance he said "It may reduce the size of the tumors, it may keep them stable, or it may not work at all." I totally get that he has to say all of this, and it's his job, etc. but I am just feeling sorry for myself that he can't say I'm going to be okay. I know no one can ever say that to me now. And it sucks. The plan is to start the Faslodex shots this Friday. I...